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How do I value myself?
I am certainly not the first to notice that we tend to evaluate our own worth by our ability to contribute or produce in the world.
And, lately, I have gotten a lot of appreciation for doing meaningful work, supporting service members, their families, their support staff-providing coaching that helps strengthen marriages, relieve stress, improve self care and more.
Suddenly, now that things have settled a bit, I find myself living much like a retired person, long before I planned to do so. This affords me time to reflect on what matters to me, to choose how I spend my time and to nurture myself.
I tend to be in a big hurry to accomplish things, once I know I want them. This goal cannot be rushed, as it is all about being slow and deliberate and in the moment. Have I mentioned that I sort of suck at that?
Well, I do have some structure and some work that I am responsible for, though it is much reduced! My jobs here at the house:
- Feed the fish
- Keep things tidy (a job I share with Neil)
- Do the laundry (I refuse to share this job)
- Answer the phone (it rarely rings)
- Share in planning, preparing and cleaning up our healthy meals and snacks
The tasks I have given myself:
- Slow down and avoid bumping into things or tripping over unfamiliar parts of the house
- Walk a lot
- Do yoga and TRE
- Read on my Kindle
- Connect with my partner
- Keep in touch via Facebook, email and blogging
My real task is remembering to value myself when I seem to be doing “very little”. Over the years, I have worked with many clients on this- as we always teach what we need to learn. Today I am reminding myself that Being is what I value and Doing is just supposed to be the things that I choose to do arising out of my joyful Being-ness. Writing about that may not fulfill the needs of a travel blog filled with adventure and excitement, but that is not the kind of travel I signed up for.
I recall wanting to see the world by visiting places for long enough to get to know them-A month in Italy, studying pottery or cooking always sounded lovely to me. So, here I am with two months in Canada, getting to know this place a bit, in no hurry.
Yesterday we planned a hike to a waterfall. Who knew it was so hot just a half hour drive from home? So we didn’t make it all the way to the falls, but we can go back if we choose. It was a lovely meadow hike, with a little lakeside spot. Goals let go of, it was a fine way to pass the afternoon. I am a little closer to Being and Loving me and the world- just because.
Do you struggle with valuing yourself? Leave a comment.